i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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