You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
