I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
