just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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