did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
