so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
