Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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