plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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