This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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