I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
