I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
