This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think your dad took our porno
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
