Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
