They should really pass out barf bags in church
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
