i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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