There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Even my vagina gasped.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
