if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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