508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
