The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
