She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize