its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
