i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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