ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
