He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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