Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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