if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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