Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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