Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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