I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
