alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
