Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
