i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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