I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
