i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
