found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The Olympian is in my bed
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