If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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