At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
