hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
