I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
