is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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