Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
