he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
