If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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