My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize