At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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