i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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