can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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