i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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