Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
