I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
