If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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