So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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