New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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