hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh god the rape fog is back!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
