So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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