trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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