I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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