There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
