After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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