his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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