we're blogging at a bar
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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