Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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