where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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