We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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