If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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