So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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