She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
