OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize