Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
