as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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