a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
