never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize